If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
whose ass print is on the piano?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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