I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
