People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
