Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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