I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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