I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
