"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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