Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
