I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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