DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
