It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
