I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
