Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
