Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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