Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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