He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
