if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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