i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
