you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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