If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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