I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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