Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
