The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
