Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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