just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
