Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
