i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize