i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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