If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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