Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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