just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
