"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
