Only a mothe r could love this liver
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
