you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize