just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
