Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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