yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
