mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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