She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
