with your own penis?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
