So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
