OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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