i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
