see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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