no you cant smoke seaweed
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
