his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
