we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize