All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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