i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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