Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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