I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
