Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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