her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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