New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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