Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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