How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
