My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
