I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
