Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
