I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no. you can't hotbox the world.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
