Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
