Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ttyl tear gas
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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