Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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