Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
