i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
