There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
