I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
