i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
