he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So vagazzling was a success
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
