dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
