I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just had sex on a roof
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize