Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Me too!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
