My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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