I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
