is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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