I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize