I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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