i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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