God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize