Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
