You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
