is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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