She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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