im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
